Wednesday, March 6, 2013

My Fat Story

My story starts where I'm sure a lot of stories school with a bully. To this day, I vividly remember sitting in the cafeteria eating lunch across from a boy. I make eye contact with him, and what happens next has stuck with me my entire life. He looks back at me, calls me a pig, snorts at me, and laughs about it with his friend. I was crushed. Until that point, I had never been made fun of nor do I remember ever seeing anyone else being made fun of. I was a first grader.
First day of 1st Grade
Doing the math, I'm 27 now...first graders are 6 or 7, so I've been dealing with body issues and identifying myself solely by my weight for 20 years. 20 years!
I've never known what it's like to be thin. Probably around middle school, I started spending summer after summer thinking about how I would start working out, lose a lot of weight, and go back to school in the fall looking like a totally different person. Summer vacation reality? Watching TV, sleeping late, and eating junk food all summer long. So, by the time a new school year rolled around, I was a totally different person...only in the wrong direction...weight went higher instead of lower.
Would my life be different if I had always been thin? Absolutely. Would I have been voted 'Quietest' in my senior class? Maybe not. Would I have dated and/or had a boyfriend? Possibly. Would I always feel like my weight is the only thing people notice about me? I don't think so.
It is extremely difficult for me to imagine reaching my goal weight. I needed my school medical records last year, and when I received them, I looked over my weight through the years. My goal weight is currently 150 pounds. Last time I was there? 5th grade AND I was also 9 inches shorter then. I'm 5'10" now. I can't even picture myself at my 8th grade weight of 213 pounds, which is only 31 pounds away.
5th grade: 150 lbs.
I've been working out and doing my best to eat healthier going on 9 weeks now. When I started this blog in January, I knew this would be the time everything would click, but I wasn't sure why I thought that. What's so different about this time compared to all the other times I've attempted it? I think I discovered why through writing this post.
2010: 50s Day at School
After 20 years, I was exhausted physically, mentally, and emotionally. I had two choices. I could keep on marching down the same road I've been on for years now: using food as a crutch and comfort, living a sedentary lifestyle, saying 'I'll start tomorrow' every Sunday night, OR I could veer off that road and make my own path: figure out why I'm an emotional eater, start training to participate in 5Ks and half-marathons, finally admit to myself that what I've done in the past is not working and realize change has to happen.
Christmas 2009
I choose to create my own step at a time, one day at a time, one pound at a time.
2012 Cruise


  1. I was a chubby thing growing up to, so I completely understand all the things you went through. Kids are cruel! Good luck with your journey! I read your weigh in and you're doing great! Keep it up! :)

    1. Thank you! Kids can be cruel, but what's sad is that adults can be even worse. I've never had to deal with any myself, but I've seen lots of stories.

  2. I'm just loving your blog! For some reason I couldn't find it before when I saw you had started following me, but this time I clicked through the comment you left and was able to find it easily enough. Blogger and Google make things difficult sometimes I guess. But yeah, I'm loving it! A blog is a great way to track progress on any goal you have. I hope it really helps you, and I'm looking forward to seeing your progress!

    I, too, am on that old weight loss journey, and just like you something clicked and I'm finally committing. It's a nice feeling : ] I wish you lots of luck!

    P.S.--From your last post, I love Biggest Loser! You are only the second person I know of who watches the show, so I'm pretty excited about this. I can't wait for the finale!!

    1. Thank you for following! Good luck to you as well!

      I watched Biggest Loser the first few seasons it was on and then stopped watching until this season started up. I started my weight loss journey the same day of the premiere. I wish I could say I've lost as much as they have. One day!

      By the way, I checked out your Etsy store, and I love your stuff...especially the doily necklaces!